Just when I think I have the whole cross border thing figured out

Since the “Nigerian bomber” as the news reporters have succumbed to calling the event, Canadian travelers have been warned about the rigors of security to expect between Canada and the US.  With ALA in Boston this year, I was dancing a happy dance at a mere 90 minute flight before this little monkey wrench.

In accordance with the newest rules, I packed my laptop in a purpose built laptop bag, put unguents in a baggie and eschewed any other carry-on (goodbye, pink patent leather purse–not).  I arrived the requisite three hours early for my flight.  The place was indeed hopping and the security line, for the first time in y numerous flights out of here, was bifurcated and doubly agented so each person could be fully and determinedly “processed.”

The first good news was that removing my belt did not leave me unable to take a step forward for fear of slacks-slide. After getting x-rayed, I was shuffled off to a nice man who asked me to put my hands in my pcokets and then remove them and extend my palms.  They were then carefully tested for the detritus of–explosives? illicit drugs? crayon wax?  In any event, I passed and was sent back to mt laptop bag, coat, etc.  This heap was picked through by a nice lady who chatted at me the whole while that she had me switch on every one of my electronic gadgets, forcing me to realize that I have become a walking billboard for the 21st century.  She wanted me to switch on one of the thumb drives until I explained what it was.

Then–surprise!–no body scan, not so much as a slapdash wanding!  This is big time news for me, the ever-patted-down.

Off to US Customs, where I was asked only two questions: in what city do I live and did I want my passport stamped.  I’m telling you, walking around with purple hair pays off: you’re so conspicuous that no one wants to test your crafty secret possibilities.

No complaints there.  And the waitress at the Spirit of the Maritimes–the only watering hole this side of security–kept refilling my coffee cup.  Good morning, world!

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